


Yours to Keep

by 4snowfalls (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, M/M, Sexual Content, author!soonyoung, musician!jihoon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 21:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10421880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/4snowfalls
Summary: Having a best friend is a choice,falling for that person isn'tbut leaving that person behind is.(Or that au where Soonyoung is a best-selling author and his best friend, Jihoon, has returned home from his music studies abroad. And that first love JUST never dies.)





	

Soonyoung didn't mind high school. He had gone through his education with excellent grades, satisfactory relationships with his teachers and he pursued his dream of being a dancer. He thoroughly enjoyed his experiences and made the most of his time. He joined clubs, did a few sports now and then; and never really had the typical issues that a normal adolescent had to deal with. 

Perhaps, it was too early to say he had a peaceful senior year. There was an issue that came up, and not even his intelligence could understand how—and why—the mere subject came to be.

Soonyoung couldn't comprehend how he came to fall in love—with his best friend, Lee Jihoon.

Soonyoung didn't enjoy mathematics—yet he spent a beautiful evening trying to calculate the chances of him finding his soulmate—and he came out with a measly 3%. After having a mental breakdown, he figured out that love could not be calculated by statistics. Love was a mysterious thing, and could only be discovered by the heart. 

They say that close friendships turn into lifelong relationships. Childhood friends are usually bound to fall in love with each other. Childhood innocence vanishes as youth takes its' place. And once the time is right, love will bloom—like an Arbutus flower.

Ironically, the Arbutus flower is Lee Jihoon's favorite flower.  

Soonyoung couldn't explain how, or why he fell for his shorter friend. He found that he loved seeing Jihoon smile. Whenever he was around his best friend of ten years; his heart fluttered, like the wings of a bird, taking flight into the beautiful skies. Soonyoung's palpitations would hasten as soon his author fingers brushed against Jihoon's pianist fingers. Even seeing his lips curl upwards could make his day. Sometimes, he would procrastinate on projects—just so Jihoon would lecture him about turning in assignments on time.

Soonyoung could analyze and come up with conclusions to everything. He could read a thirty page article, and craft a scholarly answer to the giant essay questioncall in one night. 

He was always analyzing the situation, seeing a story behind everything. His mind often created unique backstories; for anything that moved, breathed or existed.

Even with his exceptional skills in literature, he could not put together a backstory for how he fell for Jihoon.

However, towards the end of senior year and a week away from graduation, Soonyoung was finally able to craft his story. 

 

 

♡♡♡

 

 

"Everything represents something, you just have to dive deep and ask yourself questions. No one else can do it for you." His English teacher, Mrs. Kang, had told the class one day. It was exactly one week and two days before their graduation, a month after Soonyoung realized his love for his shorter best friend.

"Symbolism is a complex topic to an endless amount of students your age. This is due to the fact that there is numerous conclusions that can be drawn about a simple object. Only a handful of those conclusions end up being correct."

English was the first class of the day. Most adolescences couldn't handle the intense writing at seven-thirty in the morning. Yet, Soonyoung could. The most memorable lecture was during their unit of symbolism; the idea that a simple object—or person—could hold the key to unlock the door to a vast, abstract universe of ideas. He was endlessly fascinated by symbolism.

"One of the most common ideas about an object, is the idea of love." Mrs. Kang stands in front of the class. She brushes dust off her black pencil skirt. "Many stories revolve around love—whether it be love with a person—or love with something else. What represents love in your life?" Her tiger eyes gazed around the classroom for a volunteer. A few people were hesitant to put their hands up, and she still called on them, without mercy.

"What do you think, my sweet, little cherubs? There must be something you love—"

A foreign student from China named Wen Junhui answers her question with ease. "My charms, Mrs. Kang." He smiles, making some other girls—and boys—internally swoon.

"Your charms? I don't see any, Jun." Mrs. Kang smiles, laughing heartily. The class laughs along, making him smile even more.

"Are you joking with me?" Junhui knows she's joking. The whole class does. She was known—throughout the grade—to be a joker. She maintains healthy relationships with her students, and they take a liking to her sense of humor. "C'mon, you've seen my charming side before—"

"You've only tried to charmed me because I gave you a 90 on an essay, Jun." Mrs. Kang replies.

Soonyoung loved English class, but not as much as he loved Lee Jihoon. He chuckles along, watching the amusing quarrel between student and teacher.

Mrs. Kang writes his answer on the board after a minute of bickering; Junhui's answer is on the board in a neat script. "What else, other than than yourself, do you love?"

"My family, m'am." A female, named Kang Seulgi, answers. "I love my family. My mother, father and siblings have made me who I am today."

"That is an answer I never hear anymore." Mrs. Kang continues to record their responses on the board. Soonyoung is too deep in thought to even think of raising his hand. He doesn't realize this until after nearly everyone has answered.

Mrs. Kang calls on Soonyoung—after Jeon Wonwoo tells her that his love is hamburgers.

"Soonyoung, you haven't spoken at all today. Is something wrong?" She sounds genuinely worried.

"I'm trying to come up with a perfect answer." Soonyoung flashes her an apologetic smile.

"There's is no such thing as perfection, Soon." Mrs. Kang turns to write on the board. "I am sure that any answer you endow will be phenomenal. How about you read over these responses? They are silly, yes. However, they might assist you."

Rubbing his tired eyes, Soonyoung looks at the answers given by his peers; his vision becoming clear. He can't help but silently snicker at some of the responses.

 

 _My charms_  
_My family_  
_Soccer_  
_Eating_  
_Video games_  
_Sunflowers_  
_Martial Arts_  
_My dog_  
_Astronomy_  
_My girlfriend, Jisoo_  
_Writing_  
_Lee Seokmin's voice_  
_Dancing_  
_Hamburgers_

 

He couldn't really think of anything he deeply adored. Martial arts, writing, and dancing were his passions. Luckily for him, those three choices were already recorded, and it would be highly unprofessional for him to utilize another persons passion.

Soonyoung loved Jihoon. He was a potential answer—but Soonyoung was definitely not expressing his fondness for him in a twelfth grade English class. 

Lee Jihoon symbolized trust. Lee Jihoon symbolized someone who understood him, his problems as a performer—and his neverending battle against writers block—all while internally face palming at Soonyoung's ridiculous ideas. Lee Jihoon represented his night. The two best friends complimented each other like the sun and moon—or the sweet and sour side of sour patch kids.

To Kwon Soonyoung, Lee Jihoon was his life—and love.

"My life, Mrs. Kang. My life represents what I love." Soonyoung answers, brimming with confidence. He makes eye contact with his teacher. "I love my life."

"That's a very positive view to have." Mrs. Kang writes his answer down on the board. She looks extremely satisfied with most of the answers—some of them she ignores—and she proceeds to erase the board.

No one had any knowledge of the fact that Soonyoung had symbolized a symbol with a symbol. His life represented Jihoon, which represented his love. Wonwoo was the only person in the class who was able to decipher this.

Wonwoo looks at Soonyoung, a bit smug. Soonyoung returns the look.

Suddenly, the English lesson turns into a life lesson.

"How many of you are in love?" Mrs. Kang asks the class. "And I mean, in love with a person. Not cake; not sleeping; not sitting. I'm talking about the love where you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with."

A few students raise their hands. A few don't. Soonyoung's arm shoots upwards, like an arrow being shot from a bow. He wasn't afraid to admit his love for Jihoon, because after all, he was his life.

Soonyoung left the class after a long lecture about love, and life. Mrs. Kang's words echoed clearly in his head.

"You are very young, only entering college. I met my first love in college." Mrs. Kang informs. She sits in her desk chair, the atmosphere turns thick and tense. "It was at a party. I was drunk out of my mind.

One of my closest friends were there, and ironically, he was my childhood friend since first grade. I was all over him, and when I say 'all over him', I was worse than some of the girls who are underclassmen to you. I'm extremely sexual when I'm intoxicated, and you can probably guess what happened. I wanted to get into bed with him. But, he had morals and he refused. He was sober and he didn't want to take advantage of me in the state I was currently in. Since I wasn't thinking right, I wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the night.

I woke up the next morning at his house, in his bed. He had slept on the floor with only his blankets. He told me what had occurred at the party, and I entered a pure state of shock. Two guys took me upstairs, groping me and touching me in the most erotic way possible. But I didn't care, I was living the life and getting what I wanted. I was in a state that was never going to be permanent.

They were sober, yes, and they had plans to take advantage of me. He had seen them taking me to the bedroom, and he had followed because he had a bad feeling in his gut. They were about to strip me nude when he stopped them, and he fought them off. He exited the fight with a black eye, yet he drove me to his house. I didn't know what was going on though; my mind was so fogged up.

I fell in love with him when I came to my senses. If it weren't for him, I would've been wasted. Ever since we were kids, he was always there for me, he always put up with my attitude. We dated for the rest of our college life—he got into a car accident the evening before we graduated with our bachelor degrees. And ironically enough, the driver who hit him was drunk.

Please understand what I'm trying to say—you should always cherish your first love. You could always try to move on, try to forget. I tried to erase his existence from the crevices of my memory. And guess what? It never succeeded. I have never forgotten him. I have fallen for others, yet my memory of him still dwells and haunts me.

You never get over your first love, make the best of it as long as you can.

Because, you will never feel the same way again."

Her words echo like a broken record inside Soonyoung's mind. He calmly walks down the hallway, buzzing students pass by while engaged in their own conversations. His bag is lazily slung over his shoulder. Part of his button shirt is undone—specifically at the collarbone—and he pretends not to notice the girls staring at him. Raven black strands of hair cascade down to his eyes. To match his hair color, there are growing eye bags from sleepless nights of studying and thinking

Lunch period arrives a few hours later. Soonyoung drags himself outside with his lunchbox, walking through the schools courtyard. Lunch period meant he saw Jihoonーwhich meant he was happyーand they would consume their lunches, while conversing about their college plans.

Soonyoung turns a corner. And there he saw, the love of his life. Jihoon sat on a wooden picnic bench under a cherry blossom tree. Soonyoung didn't like the cherry blossoms falling while he ate—but Jihoon liked the view, so he agreed to sit outside while the weather was fair. The blossoms slowly dropped down, like gentle rain. Pink petals fall, but Soonyoung was sure he fell faster.

"Jihoon—" Soonyoung calls his name, only to be cut off.

"You take too damn long, how come you arrive late everyday?" Jihoon removes his headphones, eyes glaring up at Soonyoung. If looks could kill, Soonyoung would be down under in a heartbeat. 

Soonyoung facepalms—and internally smirks at how Jihoon was always mad at his tardiness—remembering how he usually showed up to lunch a few minutes after the bell rang. "Well, Jihoonie. I have to walk across the whole campus—"

"Can't you just run here?" Jihoon angrily bites into his pocky sticks. He continues holding the glare. lips turning into a scowl. "You are a dancer and a writer. You move your body for long periods of time, you're supposed to have stamina."

"You didn't even notice that I called you Jihoonie!" Soonyoung grins, taking his place across from the shorter man and changing the subject. "Does this mean I can call you Jihoonie?"

In a millisecond, Jihoon holds up a pocky stick, a forced smile on his face. He gestures at the biscuit with his other hand. "See this stick? I'm going to name it Soonyoung—"

"How cute! You're naming a pocky stick after me." Soonyoung is gushing at this point. "Does that mean you love me?"

Jihoon ignores him and his ridculous question. "This is what will happen to you if you ever, and I mean ever, call me Jihoonie again." He snaps the pocky stick in half, immediately chomping on the chocolate sweet.

Soonyoung knew the loopholes in Jihoon's threats, and he definitely wasn't imtimidated. After being friends with him for years, he has grown the mentality to be able to turn the tables completely. "So, you're going to chop me in half. And then eat me—"

"Did you suddenly become illogical—" Jihoon gets cut off by his taller best friend.

Soonyoung opens his lunchbox, hands moving to grasp onto his Hershey's chocolate bar. "Actually, no. Mrs. Kang taught me something—"

"What did she teach you about this time?" Jihoon rolls his eyes, it's not like he hasn't heard the stories of Soonyoung's insane English teacher. Life suddenly became too much to handle—and he really wanted to crawl into a hole.

"She taught me about my first love." Soonyoung takes a bite of his chocolate and gazes at Jihoon, acting as if they never bickered. "And what I should do—"

"Woah, hold up. You're in love with your English teacher—" Jihoon looks like he saw someone murdered right in front of him. He knew Soonyoung had a lot of people pining after him—and he definitely didn't approve, but imagining Soonyoung with his forty year old English teacher pushed him into wanting to commit suicide.

"No, you fucking retard." Soonyoung narrows his eyes. "She taught me that I should never give up on my first love." He takes the chocolate out of his mouth. He doesn't say anything else after that, feeling pissed that Jihoon would assume such a disgusting scenario.

"Oh, well then. That's sappy." Jihoon shoulders the concept of love away. He preferred other subjects, because love was something that he couldn't figure out. The two taking on an awkward silence, each not knowing what to say to the other. A few moments of silence pass before Soonyoung speaks.

"Jihoon," Soonyoung says his name softly—and Jihoon loves when he says his name like that—but he denies it whenever asked.

"Yes, Soonyoung?" Jihoon responds after sipping some water from his bottle. 

"Have you ever been in love?" The question comes so suddenly.

Jihoon nearly chokes on his water, he looks up to see his best friend looking at him with intensity. The atmosphere immediately turns tense; Jihoon stiffening under Soonyoung's look. He looks away for a few moments before answering:

"Yes, I have."

 

♡♡♡

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung are the definition of opposites attract. For one—the major height difference—Jihoon is around a midget height of 5'4. Soonyoung beats him by 6 inches, making him at a total height of 5'10. Initially, when they were in elementary school, Jihoon was taller than Soonyoung by an inch or so. He remained taller than him until Soonyoung had a growth spurt in fifth grade, and from there on out, the older had always towered over Jihoon. When they say that Soonyoung was the short one of the duo, no one believes them because,  _honestly_ , it's hard to imagine Jihoon being the tall one.

The second part is their personalities. To put it simply, Soonyoung is the daytime while Jihoon is the nighttime.

Soonyoung loves socializing and creating a happy mood around him. He always has a smile on his face, whether it be an eye smile or a regular smile. He always cracks jokes to make others laugh; he always loves seeing his friends in a happy mood. He's also a morning person—and a night person, but he prefers the morning—by the time the sun is up, Soonyoung is taking care of his responsibilties. He wakes up at 5:30am on weekends to practice his dancing, and to also get his homework over with so he could relax for the majority of his free time. 

Jihoon is the opposite. He's more of an introvert, preferring to keep to himself. He smiles every now and then—but only for Soonyoung—and he can be heard playing the piano during period four. He doesn't really like to burden others with his problems, resulting in him being more of a listener than a ranter. One of the obvious differences between the two is that Jihoon absolutely dislikes waking up early in the morning. Half of the time, he's late to his first class—because he slept in too late and had to run to school. On weekends, his version of morning is 2:30pm, where half of the day has already passed.

Despite their differences, there's one very important factor that brings them both together. Both of them have a passion for performance arts. Soonyoung loves dance; Jihoon loves music composition. The dance class and music composition class are often combined, resulting in the two best friends often collaborating together. Everyone knew them as the "Power Couple", and a majority of the boy x boy fangirls at the high school wanted them to date—both of them were oblivious to the fact that a fanclub was put together—and they were dubbed as "soonhoon".

Soonyoung and Jihoon already had their college plans mapped out. They would attend the same university, dorm together, and help each other. Soonyoung wanted to major in dance, while Jihoon wanted to major in music. 

Plans don't always flow the way most want them to.

 

♡♡♡

 

Jihoon blankly stares at the neatly folded envelope on his desk. It's an average sized envelope, but the label already tells him the contents inside. A note is left on his desk. On it is written how proud his parents are, because he "achieved something of such high calibar". Jihoon can't help but feel his heart ache. He heaves a quiet sigh, taking the envelope into his hands. His eyes read over the label one more time to make sure that he wasn't just seeing things—and for an odd reason, he wanted to be hallucinating.

 

 

_From the Department of Musical Talent in Seoul_

 

_Dear Lee Jihoon,_

 

_Congratulations! You have been accepted into the "Abroad Study for Musically Gifted Children" Program for the years XXXX-XXXX! Your acceptance is based on your musicianship, your submittion of your original composition, and your overall grades in your senior year of high school. You will be coming to the United States of America the day after your graduation to pursue musical study and mastering. This is a five year course that will place high expectations on you, and as one of the top three submittions in the program, we expect much of you._

_Once again, congratulations!_

 

_Headmaster Min Yoongi_

 

 

Jihoon's hands clench onto the letter, tears threatening to fall. He gently puts the piece of paper onto his study desk; his sight grows foggy as he throws himself onto his bed. Jihoon hugs a pillow, which turned out to be a pillow that Soonyoung left when he slept over just a week before—the sleepover where they spoke of their hopes and dreams. A

Soonyoung.

Soonyoung.

Jihoon's heart aches. He and Soonyoung had everything planned. They were planning on going to college together and making memories while sharing laughter and tears. Everything was built so sturdily, like a house with an excellent foundation. Jihoon wanted to live his dreams with Soonyoung by his side. He wanted to see Soonyoung graduate college and show the world his talent. He wanted to see him dance. He wanted to be his best man at his wedding. Jihoon wanted to live his life with Soonyoung—and in the end, Jihoon wanted to die by his side.

Jihoon's eyes widen as his nose inhales the pillows scent. It smells like Soonyoung's laundry detergent, which only breaks his heart even more. Tears finally begin to spill from his eyes, realization slapping him hard in the face. There was a reason why Jihoon wanted to do so much with him, why he put the smiling idiot before his ownself. He hugs the pillow tightly, burying his face in the fluffy, soft material.

"I love Kwon Soonyoung." His voice cracks from the sudden sadness that enlarged inside of his heart. He's loved Soonyoung for much longer than he thought—and he's only realizing it now. Jihoon has loved Soonyoung since he was little, he was simply too young to understand. 

Jihoon remembers that his room door is locked, and he cries himself to sleep.

_I love you, Kwon Soonyoung._

_You're my first love._

_I've been in love with you since the day we met._

 

♡♡♡

 

" _Who are you?"_

 

_"I'm Kwon Soonyoung, and why are there black marks all over you?"_

 

♡♡♡

 

Graduation day comes faster than Soonyoung expected.

And boy, Soonyoung looked horrible.

His hair was shaggy and unbrushed. His eyes were droopy and void of any life. A garbage can was in the corner of his bedroom, and it was overflowing with garbage. He didn't pay any mind to it though; he had spent the last few nights writing a book. Last night, he had completed the first draft of it and he wanted Jihoon to see it. He didn't want his parents to see it first—and no, he doesn't have anything against his parents. He really loves them. but he just wanted Jihoon to see the book first, because the story was dedicated to him. 

Soonyoung looks at the folder that was filled with nearly two-hundred and fifty pages of his work. An Arbutus flower was taped to it from the stem. It was his graduation gift to Jihoon, as well as his confession. On the last page of the transcript, was a note, asking Jihoon if he would finally be his after a decade of childlike blindness. Soonyoung looks at the clock, and realizes that he's slept way too late and that he needs to get his ass up and moving.

"Shit," Soonyoung scrambles from his bed and runs to get dressed for the ceremony—while excitedly thinking about possbilities of Jihoon's reaction to the book.

Around a few hours later, Soonyoung barely makes it on time to the ceremony. After spending a good amount of time on his visuals, he looks like a supermodel—or feels like one, anyway. He sits in his spot in the front row as an honor student. Jihoon, as usual, hadn't even arrived yet. Soonyoung sticks his gift for Jihoon underneath his chair and patiently waits for his shorter best friend to come.

"Where is he?" Soonyoung asks himself outloud, glancing around nervously. The ceremony was about to start in ten minutes, and he was sure that as lazy as Jihoon could be, he wouldn't miss the graduation ceremony. He looks at the pink flower beneath his chair, the sun illuminating its' vibrant colors. 

"He wouldn't miss this," Soonyoung says quietly. "He wouldn't miss this for the world."

Jihoon finally shows up, panting heavily in his cap and gown. The poor boy nearly trips and falls, but he keeps his composure. He takes his seat next to Soonyoung, chest heaving up and down in ragged breaths. He doesn't even greet his best friend.

"You look like you were in a car accident," Soonyoung remarks with a silent chuckle. "What happened to you, Mr. IAmAlwaysLate?"

"Be quiet, I woke up late." Jihoon snorts—but it feels like he's hiding something. "You shouldn't even be talking, Mr. IAmAlwaysLateToLunch."

"Well, lunch isn't that important. The ceremony is more important than a lunch period." Soonyoung strikes back.

"Whatever you say." Jihoon seems awfully distant. He doesn't make eye contact with him, and he seems panicked somehow—as if he did something illegal. Soonyoung tries to push the suspicion away. He trusts Jihoon wholeheartedly and is sure that he would tell him if something was wrong. 

"Aren't you excited? We're going to the same college in Fall! And we're going to be dorming together. Think of all the collaborations we're going to do!" Soonyoung's eyes are practically sparkling, like fireflies in the night. 

For the first time that day, Jihoon looks him in the eyes—and feels his heart snap in half. He nods, "mhm."

"Aw, c'mon. Be excited! We're going to graduate and spend more time together in the things we love!" Soonyoung cheers, pulling at the younger boy's cheeks. He giggles when he sees his face flush red.

"Ah, stop that." Jihoon playfully glares. "I'm just tired, alright?" 

"You're always tired, Jihoon." Soonyoung lets go of his cheeks. "But fine, guess what?"

"What is it, Soonyoung?" Jihoon answers, the air still uneasy.

"I have a graduation gift for you, but I'll give it to you after the ceremony. Is that cool with you?" Soonyoung questions as the principal stands in front of the podium, beckoning for silence. "It's super duper important."

Jihoon, for some reason, seems panicked. He looks at Soonyoung with wide eyes before nodding. "Um, sure!" He smiles—but it's fake and Soonyoung can easily tell.

Soonyoung turns to the principal, just to be respectful. Jihoon shifts uncomfortably in his seat, playing around with his fingers. 

Soonyoung pretends not to notice Jihoon's behavior.

After the ceremony ends, everyone gets up and are extremely jubilant. Blue balloons are thrown all over the place, along with white streamers. Some caps are thrown into the air—Soonyoung has thrown his cap somewhere. Jihoon is still visibly nervous. He hasn't thrown his cap nor has he cheered that much. The only time he cheered was for Soonyoung, and even then he was holding back. Something was terribly wrong.

"Jihoon, what's wrong?" Soonyoung asks after seeing Jihoon nervously look around. "Is something the matter?" He's extremely worried about Jihoon, probably more than he should be. He looks at the younger boy with worry in his eyes.

"N-Nothing's wrong, Soonyoung." Jihoon says. "Where's that gift you had for me?" He asks, voice turning high pitched and more nervous. He's trying to find an open area for some reason. Maybe he was just feeling anxiety, Soonyoung kept telling himself.

"Oh yeah!" Soonyoung happily grabs the folder from under his seat, and holds it out for Jihoon to take. He has an ecstatic smile on his face, eyes curling upwards into crescent moons. "Here Jihoon—"

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Jihoon turns and runs away from his best friend; his heart breaking the second he turns around. He runs for his life, trying to ignore the tears running down his face—along with the people staring at him. He hears Soonyoung calling after him, but he ignores it. Facing Soonyoung now would be one of the hardest things for him to do. He just wanted to keep running.

He never told Soonyoung that he was going to be flying abroad in the next five hours, and he didn't want to. He didn't want to break his heart. 

But, look where that brought him.

Soonyoung's eyes widen, confused. "W-Wait!" He chases after him, keeping up with Jihoon's speed. He ran ten times faster than Jihoon, so catching up was pretty easy. 

Jihoon brings him out to the school frontyard; Soonyoung is still in hot pursuit. "Wait Jihoon!" He cries out. Jihoon doesn't pay any attention to Soonyoung's pleads. He keeps running, and running. The endless tears continue falling, it was like a love story—but with no happy ending. 

Jihoon felt as if he didn't deserve a happy ending. He had been lying to everyone, including his best friend. He never told anyone that he was going abroad to continue his music studies—independently. He couldn't bring himself to deliver the news to Soonyoung, because Soonyoung looked so excited to be attending college with him. Jihoon didn't want to ruin his happiness.

Or, to restate that properly: Jihoon didn't have the guts to tell him face to face.

He felt like a coward, and he hated that feeling. He didn't like running away. He ran away from his problems too many times to count. But, he was running again. 

"Jihoon, please!" Soonyoung's voice sounds strangled, as if his heart was being torn out of his chest.

Jihoon sees his mother's car and he opens the door and gets in the car without a second glance at Soonyoung. He pressures his mother to drive off as quick as possible. The car speeds off, and Jihoon gazes in the rearview mirror to see Soonyoung standing at the curbside.

He's still holding the folder, a flower taped to it. Tears run down his face, and there's no sign of anger in his eyes.

Instead of anger, it's heartbreak.

Soonyoung watches the car disappear, he was debating on whether or not he should chase it, but he decides against it.

The sleek, black car disappears down the street.

He could've sworn his heart bursted, right then and there.

 

♡♡♡

 

_To my Jihoonie,_

 

_I know you get upset when I address you as Jihoonie, but just let it slide for this one time, okay?_

_If you got to the end of this book, you probably know what I'm going to say._

_Jihoonie, I love you. I've loved you since we met, I was just too dumb and innocent to realize it._

_I love you so much, Jihoonie. I cherish you and I care about you; a lot more than I care about myself._

_I hope you reciprocate the feelings, but it's okay if you don't. I just wanted to tell you before we graduated :)_

_After all, I want to die by your side, and live through my memories with you._

_I love you, Lee Jihoon._

 

_Have been yours since forever,_

_Kwon Soonyoung_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading Chapter One! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> Please leave kudos and comment feedback! It's highly appreciated!  
> ( Also, thanks to Monah/@19twentyone for helping me with the summary, I suck at summaries )
> 
> Talk to me on Twitter: @Soonyoungjpeg
> 
> Once again, thanks for reading!


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